Terry Traveller – Family Camping

This seems fitting to run on Father’s day, my hat goes off to Terry’s Father, nervous twitch and all. – Editor

June, what a wonderful month for nature. The grass is green, the sky is blue, and the air is humid.

Yes, it is I, Terry Traveller, here to tell you another wonderful tale of humility and humanity.

You see, June was once the mark of a deeply held tradition in my family- the camp out. Father would spend weeks preparing lists: supplies, rations, biodegradable toiletries, everything we needed to “rough it”.

I was never selected to attend the shopping trip to the army surplus store- I was told my presence would be distracting. To this day I beg to differ as the single time I was allowed to go shopping with my father we spent less than expected. Yes, we forgot the tent poles, canned food supply, and bug repellent. I blame it on the improperly labeled can of Bear Mace and the dare I say unnecessary trip to the emergency room to apologize to the shopkeeper for spraying it throughout the store like Lysol.

Besides, I like to think that everything happens for a reason, and as Fate would have it, that same summer we came face to face with a real bear. It was the middle of the night and we heard a noise outside our tent. All eyes turned as Father asked if I had tied up the rations in a tree. I had not, clearly stating my defense that I believed putting food in a tree would attract a wild cat of some kind therefore chose to put the food under the picnic table. The family didn’t appreciate this heartfelt favor but were immediately hushed when the shadow of a great big bear crossed the face of the tent.

A lightbulb went off over my head. With the shopkeeper’s words singing in my ears I gathered my courage, sprang from the tent, flailed my arms and screamed, “You spray it, you bought it!” letting out a terrible cry as I unleashed a thick fog of pepper spray into the air. The bear was caught off guard, perhaps by the mace which I managed to direct straight into my eyes- or the knowledge that I was no one to mess with. He scampered away into the night and I was deemed a hero. The local papers proclaimed “Lucky Child Keeps Eyesight”, “Tourist Attacked By Self”, and “Kid Inhales Bear Mace, Grow 3 Inches Taller Overnight. The Miracle Science Can’t Explain!”

So enjoy the June bugs, go hiking, check out the beautiful countryside that nature has painted picturesque in our honor. Go camping with a roll of duct tape, the sun at your back, and a can of Bear Mace in your pack. Just watch where you point that thing and try not to inhale.

This is Terry Traveler saying, it may not be true, but it might as well be.

Terry Traveller
Email: terry@discoveradel.com
Facebook: facebook.com/DiscoverAdel.TerryTraveller?fref=ts