Terry Traveller Series – The Story of the Orange Parka

Do Not PanicI’ve always been a little nervous to ask Terry, “what’s up with the orange parka?” Anyone who’s followed Terry knows that thing is a hallmark of our “illustrious friend”. So imagine my delight when Terry carrier pidegeoned this to the office. – Editor

Dear Fellow Travelers,

My trademark orange parka has been with me for ages. I remember my previous jacket, a lime green affair with fur lining and leather cuffs. That unsightly apparel marked my youthful disregard for fashion and as I approached a new decade I felt it was time for something new. Not to mention the coat had recently been marred by a pack of ill-trained sled dogs with the taste for polyester.

I purchased my orange parka in a strange bazaar west of Calcutta in preparation for a three-week hike to the highest peak in the region. My Sherpa, Freddie, stood next to me as I selected backpacks, survival gear, and a switchblade comb- the essential needs of any professional traveler.

I stood confused for a moment, torn between two pairs of wool socks, unsure which would be better suited for our affair. I asked his opinion and he kindly quipped, “If we are to spend day and night together, I recommend more than one pair of socks, Stinky. Besides, socks are fundamental and unseen. A true hiker is defined by the coat they wear.”

I looked to my growing pile of merchandise and realized I had not yet selected the most important element of the ensemble. I certainly couldn’t decide which pair of socks to buy without having a coat to match them against, and staying warm was probably important, too.

Walking around the store I saw blobs of blue, grey, and black. These were not the coats of travelers. These were the coats of ski bunnies. Distinguished ski bunnies, but nonetheless. I wanted a coat of distinction. A coat with the dignity to loudly yell, “I am a Parka!” A coat that could be seen should an avalanche take place due to the Parka’s exclamation.

Freddie was reviewing the mileage charts of the available pack mules on the other side of the store. The shopkeeper was busy inventorying his latest shipment of imported sunflower seeds. I was beginning to give up hope. Suddenly I found it. The clearance rack- home to the most unique options available.

Amongst the irregular flannel tuxedos for the fashionable sportsman, my vision was drawn to a small patch of orange at the end of the rack. I had found it: a long, orange parka with fur-lined hood. Doubt crossed my mind. These things never came in my size, yet as I put it on I found it fit perfectly. The coat was long and boxy so it could double as a sleeping bag- duplicity has always been a passion of mine. I looked in the mirror and saw the distinguished figure my former lime green parka had only attempted to highlight. This was the look of an adventurer!

With Freddie’s help I selected the ideal pair of wool socks, grey with an orange argyle print, though I was forced at his knifepoint to pick up three additional pairs with superior wicking technology. I must admit I was thankful for this exchange not 10 feet from the store as I walked in a puddle of unknown origin and took on a skunk-like smell that hung with us for the remainder of our trip. I will remember Freddie fondly for his sage-like advice and share his final words to me so that they may be as inspirational as they were to me, chanted in his singsong style right in the middle of my popular medley of off-key melodies: “Avalanche! Avalanche! Avalanche!”

– Terry

Terry Traveller
Email: terry@discoveradel.com
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