Terry is back with another interesting journey from our famous little explorer. By the way, legal spent billable hours checking to see if it’s really 3000 miles. Thanks Terry! – Editor
Terry Traveler here, back from a recent excursion to the mythical Costa Rica, my heart’s devotion, I hope it doesn’t sink into the ocean.
Its true, most of my Costa Rican knowledge prior to the trip came from that story of west side New York.
I can say the joke was not appreciated when I broke into song and dance proclaiming to be pretty at Customs.
I was shocked to find out I wasn’t the first one.
Now I’ll admit, my Spanish is rusty. This is important to remember, since I forgot they spoke Spanish in Costa Rica.
I did not read the in-flight materials provided, instead electing to watch reruns of Cagey and Lacy, and spent my first 2 days struggling with broken Guaraní, which is actually the language of Paraguay some 3000 miles away, in South America, which is an entirely different continent all together.
Once the language barrier was cleared and my equally broken Spanish procured one marriage and two death threats, I spent my days at a coffee plantation picking beans, picking dirt from under my nails, and explaining my need for the large orange parka in subtropical weather.
Each morning I awoke to the heady allure of jungle forests, the freshest coffee on earth, and some kind of manure.
I would walk a quarter mile to a small marker along the side of the road and wait for my chance to hitch a ride. Trucks drive all day, picking up and dropping off workers at markers like mine, stopping along their route to make repairs and help move machinery.
One morning it took 5 hours to travel the 8 miles inland- I claim responsibility for only 2 of the extra hours as I had no idea the bag was open, nor how it would react to being thrown over my shoulder. For your own good: never let coffee beans enter your exhaust manifold.
Overall it was a great trip with beautiful vistas, kind people, and plenty of caffeine. I once again encountered my favorite Costa Rican Customs Agent, when I was detained for several hours on smuggling charges.
Second warning: should you fling an open bag of coffee beans over your shoulder, check your pockets for loose coffee beans.
To be sure there is no what they call “Undeclared” seeds and no amount of Guaraní will make a difference in the charges against you.
Breaking into another round of “I Feel Pretty” doesn’t help either.